So there was this discussion on my message board yesterday and today about being one of "those" Moms. To some of them "those" moms are moms that are doing things completely differently than they said they would when they were pregnant. They said they would breastfeed, make the baby food, not let them watch TV, never lose their tempers, teach their baby sign language, have the baby weaned from the bottle at 12 months, etc. I think you get the point. I did not respond to this post basically because it got pretty nasty if you didn't fit into their definition of being one of "those" moms, they assumed you were saying you are perfect and that is not the case at all. This post really got me thinking about what have done for Tyler and what I am proud of. I didn't really have any of these expectations for myself when I was pregnant. Somewhere in the process of it all I think I found a happy medium or at least one that works for our family.
I did breastfeed and I am extremely proud of it. I am very proud that I made it to a year and pumped at work for 9 of those months. I made all of Tyler's baby food and I worked full time, and yes I am very proud of this too. For the first year of my baby's life I knew exactly were most of his food was coming from. I always feed him a fruit or vegetable with every meal, yes I feed him chicken nuggets and let him have sugar but I make sure he gets the nutritious stuff too. I did have him weaned from the bottle and the boob at 12 months but this was really only because he is such an easy baby and never fought it. I have lost my temper with him and I think if you say you have not lost your temper or gotten extremely frustrated with your little one at one point you are lying. I am not proud of this and I don't do it often but yes it has happened. Tyler does know a couple of signs but that is not because of me, that is all thanks to daycare. Tyler does not watch TV but that is not because its never on, its just because he has better things to do. There were some other things mentioned but these are just the ones that stood out to me.
Do I think that every mom has to do it my way? Of course not and I don't think anyone should think that. If everyone did everything the same, who would I go to for advice? I can't say that I know a "bad" mom. Everyone I know takes great care of their family and does what is right for them. What we do or don't do is not what makes us great moms, it is all about raising a loving, happy and healthy child. How ever you get there is your decision and it is the right decision for your little one even if its not the way I would have done it.
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Hey Roni, I really like your post! You seem like such a wonderful mother and I always enjoy hearing your stories!
ReplyDeleteI so wish all of that stuff was not posted on the message board though. Some of us were talking on facebook, and we agreed that a lot of things were misinterpreted by some. That post was meant to be a place for people to share their "shortfalls" (or some other BETTER word than that :) I think the whole point was for us to realize that we are NOT perfect, but shouldn't beat ourselves up over it! It was hard for me because I posted a big long post of things that I kind of suck at, and then I had to read (in the same post) one girl rave over the amazing things she does and how easy her daughter is!
I guess it would be like someone complaining how poor they are and can barely afford to feed their family... and then if someone would come along and post about how rich they are, and live in a mansion, and have maids and stuff. LOL. It just seemed a little inconsiderate...
Don't ever let anyone make you feel the slightest bit of guilt for being an incredible mother... Tyler is so very lucky to have you. You SHOULD be proud of the things you have done!!! I certainly am proud of the things I do, even though I could do a lot of things better :)
xxx
Tamara
The message board did get a little crazy so I didn't respond either. But I will tell you this.....you should be VERY proud of the things you did for Tyler. I think you need a mom of the year award for working full time and still doing the things that you did!
ReplyDeleteWe all have things that we do as mothers that we could do better, but we all have things that we have done that we should be proud of too!!! I just think the board needs to get back to a place where we just support each other as moms of toddlers. I really enjoyed your post and I am so serious about the Mom of the Year award!!
I agree with everything Lauren said!!
ReplyDeleteIf I am Mom of the year so are you all!!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the original post. I really think that most of us are a mix of "that" mom and none of us are the perfect mom but we are all a perfect mom for our family. It turned nasty and I didn't like it after that. I love that board and I really hope that attacking stops. I think some of them just need to realize that were are all talking through typed words and it can get easily misunderstood.